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Why I am NOT Ignoring the Haters Any More

Chrystal Bougon

Posted on September 07 2015

plus-size-lingerieI know. I am not supposed to feed the trolls. But, honestly, ignoring the haters for the past 3 years my plus size lingerie boutique has been open hasn’t really served me in any way, either.  But, when super SENSATIONAL stuff like the “Dear Fat People” You Tube video comes up, my friends / fans / followers expect a response from me and I am o.k. with that. And, I responded in an ad hoc way several times over the weekend on my Facebook page. And, some of you didn’t like that.

Once the ridiculous video came out, I watched it one time and honestly – that nitwit’s ranting on and on about how much she hates fat people had absolutely no bearing on my life or how I feel about myself. But, I am blessed to be a person who has received so much love my entire life even while being fat. I have so much support around me. I have been fat pretty much my entire life and I am very use to living in a body that takes up a lot more space than others around me.  I’ve had a lot of time to adjust. So, her ranting have zero affect on my own self esteem.

The reality is that many of my friends / followers / fans have not had that same privilege. And, I want to support all of them as much as I can. So, when they ask me what is my opinion, I feel like maybe it might help them in some small way when I do state my opinion publicly about that a&&hole’s video.  When we are marginalized and treated like we are less than human, we are on a path to find out tribe. We all look for those circles we can run in that help us feel like we belong and like we have some people on our side. If I can be, I want to be there for those people who look to me for that kind of support.

Many people wrote me back publicly on my personal page and on my Curvy Girl Facebook page and said “do not give her any more of your time.”  “Do not waste any more energy on this sad person.”   “Stay focused on your mission; ignore that b*tch.”  And, I get what they are saying. I mostly agree with that line of thinking. I really have way too much to do to let someone like this DEAR FAT PEOPLE a-hole to side track me. But, I LOVE and CARE so deeply for my friends / fans / followers and I want to show them some solidarity.  I want to give them a safe place to come and vent about this ridiculousness.  We all want our safe space to be heard and that is why I said anything at all.

I spent about 2.5 years just totally ignoring, banning and deleting the haters that come to my blog and to my Facebook page.  Hell, even my boutique has been vandalized 3 times in 2 months and the first two times, I just handled shit and didn’t speak about it much. But, I decided I am not just BANNING and DELETING any longer. I give my two cents first and then I ban and delete. I am not trying to be antagonistic. I am saying my peace to these bottom feeders and then getting rid of them.  I know it won’t change most of them or their opinions; but I am ready to be heard. Even if it goes in one ear and out the other, they know I am going to call them on their ridiculous misogyny and shaming behaviors.

And, I know you all are ready to be heard and that is why, when crap like this DEAR FAT PEOPLE video goes viral, I am going to say something and inviting you to be heard as well.  If you do not like this concept of me responding to the haters, concern trolls and other key board bullies, you may want to UNLIKE my social pages. I am done with being quiet about the bullying and I want to give you all a safe place to vent your thoughts on the subject, too.

And, my own personal opinion is that this is a sign of a person who is seriously in need of some love. You have to have so much internalized shame and hate about yourself or your own body to put that much hate out there about other bodies.  To me, she just looks like a sad woman who is looking to get famous quick. It’s shameless click bait and her attempt to try to gain some kind of quick viral celebrity. It’s all so transparent to me. She is not a happy person. If she was, would she really spend to much time creating something so ugly and hateful? I am pretty sure she would be doing something better with her time.  Miserable people really love company and they want to drag others into their miserable black hole. Please do not let this woman have any power over how you feel about your own body or your own life. I know it’s all ugly and hard to hear and can be triggering.  And, I am so sorry that any of us has to endure her bullshit.  IF she only knew how much pain she caused………   but then bullies seem to be missing that compassion personality trait.

Sincerely, Chrystal Bougon

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