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I Could Have Handled This So Much Better

Chrystal Bougon

Posted on December 29 2014

Credit: Nature Remedies

Credit: Nature Remedies

So, yesterday, I was forced to go to a local drug store to invest heavily in some Emergen-C and Nyquil because I came down with a nasty head cold.  So, let me just start by saying it was NOT my best day. It’s not an excuse, but just some background. I was crabby and snotty and crabby some more. My sinuses felt like they might explode.

While I was roaming the aisles at my local CVS drug store, I ran into a gentleman that I know from business networking. He follows me on Facebook and Twitter and he knows all about my Curvy Girl Lingerie boutique and my other business stuff. We have been “friendly” roaming in some of the same business circles for about 10 years.  Nice guy. He is always helpful and ready to lend a hand here and there. I really do like him. (And, I am so sorry if you are reading this. )

He started off with a compliment and said he is very impressed with how my boutique is doing and my social media success. I said thank you very much and smiled. It was obvious I was not really feeling like a big long convo, but I was doing the pleasantries with him. I told him I did not want to hug him or shake his hand because yesterday was day 1 of my post nasal war on my head and body. I didn’t want to share my “cooties.”  He smiled and said he understood. I hadn’t seen him in awhile so I told him “it’s great so see you. Have a Happy New Year!”

Then he dropped this bomb. I am paraphrasing here, but essentially he wanted to know why we don’t ” put more energy into dieting” and just lose the extra weight so “we” could all just shop at “regular stores like Victoria’s Secret or Macy’s” for our lingerie.

This is where I lost my cool. There was this amazing teachable moment where I could have schooled him in the bull shit “beauty standard” and how my life does not revolve around making myself “f*ckable” to men like him who believe that the beauty standard looks like a Barbie doll with bleached platinum blonde hair and a waist and thigh gap that no woman can attain without plastic surgery.

Instead, I snapped (picture my head rotating on my neck like 360 degrees and then back around again.)  I said “well, I notice you could stand to lose about 20 lbs. And, you have been carrying around that extra 15 or 20lbs since we first met. How come you don’t drop that extra weight? I mean, how hard can it be to lose that little amount of weight?”

Yah, not my proudest moment. I feel like total shit today about it. Total CVS remorse. He is a really nice guy. I would NEVER suggest a diet to anyone. EVER!

He just sort of laughed it off and said “yah, you’re right” and then said “nice to see you and Happy New Year” and walked away to the check-out stand.

I know he will probably NEVER understand exactly what I meant by that. Of course I do not care if he gains 200 lbs or loses 20 lbs. But I could have gently educated him about how body diversity is important and that no tall bodies are made to be thin. That some people have genetics that would never allow them to be a size 2 without starving themselves. Or that some people have diseases and disabilities that will keep them plus size their whole lives. JUST SO MANY THINGS I SHOULD HAVE SAID instead of snapping at him like that.

What I wanted to say to him is that his body is his to do what ever he pleases.  I do not believe in policing anyone’s body.

I believe in CELEBRATING all bodies exactly as they exist this very moment. I believe that all bodies are worthy of LOVE and PLEASURE and ACCEPTANCE no matter if they are a size 0 or a size 50. ALL BODIES are PERFECT. RIGHT HIS VERY MOMENT.

So, friend, if you are reading this, please accept my apology for not educating you and for not having more compassion for you. I know that we are all victims of the diet industry and the “fit-spiration” industry that loves to shame us all for being outside of their beauty ideal.

I think you body is perfect and I hope you and your body is loved and accepted just like I would like my body and the body of all of my customers and followers to be loved and accepted exactly as they are.


Can you HELP us make our Curvy Girl Lingerie TV Show? You can donate $1 or $5 or more to help us get our pilot made! Here’s the link and SHARE SHARE SHARE on Social Media. That is hugely valuable, too.   

We also have a shopping spree giveaway. Add your SELFIE in lingerie to our Crowded Reality page. The winner will be chosen randomly on Jan. 14th so you will have your lingerie in time for Valentine’s Day. More info here for how to participate:

crowded reality shopping spree giveaway


Love, Chrystal

@curvygirllingerie on Instagram



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