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Can You Really Forgive an Internet Bully or Fat Shamer?

Chrystal Bougon

Posted on February 02 2015

love-letter-to-a-bullyOr more to the point, can I really forgive the internet bullies that spend time shaming my customers, my Curvy Girl Cover Girls and me all day and all night?

The short answer is yes. I do forgive all of those anonymous people who like to create reddit websites and threads all about how much they hate me. I read their crap and honestly, it just makes me sad for them. (Or sad for you, if you are one of them. Realistically,  most likely a small percentage of you reading this are here to shame or bully me. You’re here to use my words and twist them around and make me feel bad about my fat body. Have fun!)

The long answer is still, yes with a big but. (Ha ha.)  Not to be trite, but “forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.” Since our last “Love Letter to a Bully Campaign” I have been told I would be “better off dead” and I should just kill myself.  I have been called a ham planet, land whale, fat pig, Barney, gross and a bacon factory. (Um, EFF YAH… sorry, but being a bacon factory would be RAD!) (Here’s the big but I mentioned.)  But, the ironic thing is that all of that hate being thrown my way INSPIRES ME and helps me to JUMP OUT OF BED in the mornings knowing that the work I do is NEEDED and important. The world needs MORE love and MORE acceptance and MORE celebration of bodies of all shapes and sizes. And that is what I do!

My friend, Jen McLellan, of Plus Size Birth said it best:

“Over time I’ve become less and less enraged by trolls.  I actually feel really sorry for them.  I spend my time behind the keyboard empowering women and it’s incredibly rewarding.  I can’t imagine how much low self-esteem it requires for someone to receive satisfaction by belittling people.  Bullies type things, behind the safety of their keyboard, that they’d never say to someone’s face (or at least I’d hope not).  It’s cowardice and I’m unable to comprehend how hurting others can be pleasurable.  Shaming people has real consequences and words can be damaging.”

Any person of size will tell you, the internet and social pages are rife with haters and shamers. I like to call them “internet doctors.”  These people are so sure and just absolutely positve that fat people they see in photos on the internet are unhealthy.  And, we know that those sad trolls do NOT understand how I could be associated with SO MANY happy fat people.  It’s disconcerting for them and I LOVE IT. I Live For It! I live for celebrating all bodies of all sizes and I live for coaching women to celebrate their bodies and ignore the hate that is out there.

So, together we are ALL going to FORGIVE. Share your stories of how you are going to forgive your family, your friends and all of the anonymous shamers of the world.  This was a really powerful campaign last year and hundreds of women took their own pictures and wroth their own love letters. (Use pic monkey or some other simple photo editor like Picasa or any apps you own to share your LOVE LETTER TO A BULLY and give yourself the gift of forgiveness.) Then throw back your shoulders, hold your head up high and let the haters watch your big fat glorious ass as you walk away from all of that hate!

You can share your pics here on my blog or share them on our Facebook Page for Curvy Girl Lingerie.  Write your own OPEN LETTER to your bully.

I can’t wait to see your bright shiny faces and share in your journey!

Love, Chrystal

Owner and Resident Curvy Girl

Curvy Girl Lingerie

Here is a VIDEO of the coverage from a local news station that did a news report from Heather Holmes and KTVU TV on Channel 2 here in the Bay Area.


troll bridge ahead


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